Amidst The Expanse
by Cielito
Summary: After they kissed for the first time back in Athos only a few weeks ago and after committing to their love, they both knew that to be together they had to leave their respected life behind.


Title: Amidst the Expanse

Characters: John and Teyla

Pairing: John and Teyla ***there is no other***

Beta: Steph, Pauline, and Sophie

Spoilers: None

Rating: M for Sexual content

Genre: AU

Word count: 4, 264

Comment: I thought I'd never get my muse back and I don't think its there yet, but at least I wrote something! This is a continuation of my other AU fic, _**Forces of Nature**_. Forces of Nature was written from John's Point of View. This one is all from Teyla's Point of View. It takes place only days after that one ended and therefore it would be helpful if you read that one before you read this one. It can be a stand alone, but it would make much more sense if you read the other one first. I'm not sure if I want to continue this, so if you leave me a comment with your thoughts, that will help. Because they are young still, I'm trying to capture Teyla's voice as one that is turning into the Teyla that we know and love and as to a possible scenario that could have caused her personality and behaviors of the Teyla that will soon turn into that woman that we know. So, for now, this is a bit of a different, naive and open Teyla, at least I hope. But that you can also see traces of the one that's to come. I hope that make some sense. The same with John. Although this is not from his point of view, I hope that there's enough there to show you what he's going through as well and while showing this reckless, unreserved John, still capturing the one we know today in his adulthood. I'm thinking these two are in their early 20's. Teyla being about 4 years younger than John.

Summary: After they kissed for the first time back in Athos only a few weeks ago and after committing to their love, they both knew that to be together they had to leave their respected life behind.

**Amidst the Expanse**

After they kissed for the first time back in Athos only a few weeks ago and after committing to their love, they both knew that to be together they had to leave their respected life behind. They would never be accepted, not as a couple, not by her people and not by his either. And so he had promised her to come back. And he did. He came back to her with a rather risky plan. A plan that would keep them together, but away from those whom they loved and cared for the most. Those who ultimately relied and depended on them and so she knew he was worried. Worried for them, for his people and hers. Worried for his friends who were risking it all for both of them.

John had shared with Teyla how he had confessed to his closest friends his intentions to continue their _impermissible relationship_. They volunteered to help John find an unexplored area in the city of Atlantis where they would hide Teyla for a couple of days before both would disappear far from Athos and Atlantis.

John had spoken to Rodney who was working diligently, searching the database for a safe, inconspicuous planet for them to live in while Zelenka prepped a Puddle Jumper disabling its tracking devices. Lorne and Ronon were gathering supplies and weapons and John had already mapped how they were going to flee the city unobtrusively, without any suspicions. Their hope was that when their respective families finally figured out what they had done, they would be too far to track and too long gone for them to care anymore. Yet it was the most difficult, most painful decision either one of them had ever had to make. Watching him now standing still _amidst the expanse_ of a city full of mysteries, an unknown kingdom, Teyla wondered just how much they were really sacrificing and if at the end of it all, would they still be joined as one.

The last few days had been strained for John and her. It was as if they didn't know how to act with each other. On one hand, their acquaintance had been marked by drama, passion, and deep pain. While on a deeper level, they really had much to learn from one another. All the years they spent together meant nothing as far as where they were headed now. John's life had been laid out before him even before his birth, as was hers. Yet what pained her most was that with each other was never where they were meant to be. Now, in the chaos of it all, leaving their family and home life forever, ostracized by their own, only time might be the remedy, if ever. And she prayed. She clamored to the Ancestors that with one voice they would fight alongside each other, always. Standing now beside him, hiding her in the depth of the Ancestral city, Teyla knew that she had no regrets because living without him simply was not an option.

She stared at him as he looked out the city's balcony from their hidden quarters. She didn't know what he was thinking or feeling. In the past few days since they 'd decided to run away and spend the rest of their lives together, he had changed. He was self-contained. Since their flee from Athos two nights ago, he had walled himself off emotionally. It hurt her to be around him, unable to touch, feel, or hear him, even worse losing the feeling of closeness they once shared. Oh, she could touch him physically, but the John Sheppard that was deep within him, he kept from her. And she desperately tried to reach him only to have him turn her away. She knew she had nothing to fear from him. The opposite, in fact. No matter what, this man would place his life before hers without hesitation. Watching him was painful; he was so alone, so willing to risk himself in order to protect her, yet once he risked it all to save her, he shut himself from her. Did he blame her? Should she have never kissed him on that night? Was it wrong to want to be with the man she longed for, the man she loves?

One thing she was certain of above all else, their kiss had not been a mistake. Life without him was simply not possible. She could have settled with another, Kanaan most likely, her father's chosen. But she would never live the life of love and passion that she could with John Sheppard. She would lose herself in such a situation, incapable of leading or being herself while living in such a lifeless, senseless, meaningless relationship. That was not what she wanted for her future. A life with John was the only one she wanted. Yet, if she couldn't get him to move on pass this decision, their love would eventually mean nothing. She had to make him see it, she had to make him come back to life, come back to her.

He stood motionless against the doorframe of the balcony. Watching him staring out at the sea, her heart thundered with pain for him, for them. He was surrounded by the nights' moonlight that had turned his shirt translucent, letting her clearly see his lean muscles. A shiver crept up her skin at the sight of him. Her body called to him. They had not shared a bed, not intimately, anyways. She so longed to hold him, make him hers completely. Not to dominate, simply to love him, to let others know she belonged to him just as he belonged to her. She was certain that he felt the same, for in these nights they slept in the same room, she could feel his heat permeate the room, hear his breath cool her skin, feel his eyes caress her body, the yearn of his hands worship her complete form. Understanding him was second nature to her for she felt the same voracity for him.

They were _linked. _

What she did affected him just as what he did stirred her. Thinking back to that first time they met, in the middle of the night, just kids wandering the dangers of the forest, she knew then as clearly as she did now that he was her soul mate. When she saw him tumbling down the hill, she had smiled. But when he neared her, so close, that incapacitating smile, those heart piercing eyes, that dark rich hair, it was too much for a young girl who had only seen 14 cycles of life.

He had terrified her. She had called him stranger and had challenged him with her authority. A leader, queen of the Athosians, that's who she was born to be. And what did he do? Took off his ridiculous cap, stepped forward, gazed into her eyes, and smiled. Her knees weakened then, and it took all her strength to keep up her composure. But it was hopeless; She completely fell, entranced by his spell. Whatever words came out of his mouth, till this day she cannot say for she was not listening. Her heart was captivated, all reasoning lost. There was only he, she and the night.

It was unexplainable to her how the two of them so naturally defied logic and reason, broke the very laws that defined their existence, all to follow a force that can only be described in one word; love. Contrarily, by loving him, she was protecting him as he continuously shields her with his life. How many times had she hid him underneath her Athosians covers away from the scrutinizing and ever watchful eyes of her father; of her people? Or the times that she fought alongside him against the Wraith? How many times did he stand before her willing to die for her, repeatedly, and without a moments' hesitation?

It was simply common sense. He loved her, and she was loved. But was that enough? Because of love, he had left his future behind to hide as if in shame. The once reputable and promising future he had as future leader and commander of the majestic city of Atlantis left behind. Because of love, she had left her people, left her stand as leader of the Athosians, shaming her father. Because of love, he was trying to open himself to her, to let her inside the impenetrable walls that separated him from the rest.

He was a _solitary man_, he had once told her. But for her, he was willing to step out of that solitude to live the rest of his life unguarded and vulnerable by her side. For her, he was willing to leave it all behind, risk it all, kill again, and count the loss well worth it, as long as it fell upon him and never on her. He would pay with his life, not hers! Never her! Yet, here they stood as complete strangers wondering, questioning, thinking, or worse, regretting.

She made no sound, no sudden movements, but she knew he was aware of her presence. They were so attuned to each other's presence that it didn't surprise her to see him suddenly turned towards her. Every muscle, every fiber, every hair in her body responding to his move, ready to react to any danger near them at whatever cost. Suddenly, he reached her in three quick strides, wrapping his strong arms around her with his ever-tender loving touch.

"Are you okay?" There was no distance between them. Not now, not ever.

"I am fine, John." Winding her arms around his neck and holding him close she felt broken, never wanting to let him go. "I love you, John. I meant it then as I do now."

His arms tightened around her and she saw something ease in him.

"I know, Teyla. I love you, too." He reached for her chin and gently kissed the tip of her nose.

"Truly? " She smiled mischievously, "Love me enough to leave Rodney's lemon jokes behind for good?" She teased him and was rewarded with one of those smiles of his.

"Well, now that you put it that way," he said so easily, so calmly that she thought she'd melt in his arms.

"I am certain you shall miss your sparring sessions with Ronon. You have not challenged him properly, not once!" She stared up into those eyes, not quite blue, not quite green, but somewhere in between.

"It's not Ronon who I care to beat." He rearranged his grasp on her and pulled her fully against him as he bent his head to kiss her. She went on her toes to meet him, her hands clasping around his neck, stroking beneath his collar.

Though they had slept together on many of those nightly _suicide mission trips_ (as Rodney liked to call them), he had never crossed the line, never made love to her. It wasn't that he didn't want to, she was certain. It was all part of that barrier that he always put up when they were together and she knew he never would have made that first move.

But this was right; this was their moment in time. She was right there in his arms. Sliding his hands down her neck, gently brushing her breasts, joining her hips with his. Humming a little with delight at the prospect of what's to come, she wrapped both her arms around his chest wringing a guttural sound from him that made her shiver, causing the hairs of her skin to stand on end. Pure physical hunger stirred within her.

The moon cast a spell on her. Their bodies were so close and she was acutely aware of the solidity and size of him. Spontaneously, he lifted her up in his arms causing her to laugh foolishly. The doors to the balcony closed automatically behind them and for a brief moment she was astounded once again of just how regal he truly was. Simply he walks and an entire city beckons to his command with just a thought. Tenderly, he carried her inside the hidden quarters straight to the bed and a warm tingling sensation invaded the pit of her stomach.

Reaching the bed, he deliberately plummeted her body as she laughed uncontrollably, her body bouncing on the soft sheets, her laughter echoing through the deserted hallways. He stripped off his shirt, then his jeans before he turned his attention to helping her off with her clothes.

The weather was intolerable. The scorching suns were intense causing the days to be longer than usual and the nights hot and sweaty. Suffice to say, all she had on was a light tank top and a loose split skirt. Ever so gently, he pulled off her purple top over her head kissing her passionately and she felt pretty underneath the scrutiny of his adoring eyes.

Men constantly admired her, but she knew clearly of their intentions. John Sheppard made her feel like she was royalty. Once, when she first met Rodney, she had overheard the oddly intelligent, boisterous, young man describe her and her people as the uncivilized indigenous people. She didn't know what John was about to do to his best friend, but she had stepped right in between the two. That's how it was most of her life; having the ever-hungry men seeking her flesh, and others that loathed and thought of her kind as nothing more than beasts living in the shadows of the forest with the contaminated blood of the Wraith flowing through their veins.

Not John. He was different from the beginning. She could see right through him and he sought nothing more than to openly share that with her. She meant something to him, something more than simply a vessel to use for a couple of minutes, someone more than the next heir to rule in negotiations, to rule her people, even more than simply an uncultured experiment which brought about this gift of hers. This cursed gift of hers that made her stand out among her people. An Emmagan lineage meant to lead the Athosians simply because of a genetic make-up that marked her as the next leader of her people. But John saw her only as who she was, a young woman seeking out her destiny. And loving him was simply part of that fate; a fate that crossed their paths pulling them closer and fighting alongside one purpose and one mind.

And Teyla wanted nothing more than to give him everything that she had within her. She would be his completely.

Cradling her face in his hands, she felt his fingers touch the outward tip of her brows and drew his lips over her golden cheek. She could see the reverence of his touch as he pressed his mouth to her shimmering cheek. "Are you sure this is what you want, Teyla?"

Shocked into silence, she closed her eyes searching what she already knew deep within her. She wanted nothing more than John to acknowledge her as a woman. The words were so true, so pure. The moment so tender, so sweet, that tears spilled from her eyes. "You are the other half of me, John."

Breathing harder, he kissed her over and over both intoxicating her with the softness of his lips, the tenderness of his caress. Eagerly she responded to his increasing pressure as if she were precious beyond reason, the possessiveness in his ever-loving touch was indescribable with words. Not even in her wildest dreams did she ever believe this could feel so right, so gloriously perfect. The urgency and benevolence of his hands spoke of his undying love for her, of his resigned promise to love and protect her always.

Her fingertips touched the side of his neck, brushing against the sensitive bristled- stubs of his skin. Determined and ardent, their kisses were fiery and with only one purpose in mind. Her aching flesh called out to him and she was completely mesmerized by the pleasure of his mouth. Having unleashed John's passion she now accepted all of him, accepted whatever consequences, relished at the thought, and surrendered to his calling. She was more than willing to give him what they both wanted for so long.

"Teyla", he said, flooded with rigorous heat and he knelt to inhale the scent of her body. His mouth on her, invading her with each labored breath, the tension gathering stronger and stronger within her. Gently, he gathered her against his body and lifted her with incredible ease. She was completely helpless, captured in the rapture of his strength.

Staring at each other in the secret darkness, his arms clamping around her until she could barely breathe; he was a part of her, finally. In this act of unselfish love, desire and passion, she had held unto him, securely wrapping her body, binding each other in the softness of his presence, possessing him and forever changing in this passionate invasion.

Her legs quivered around him, then tightened as her body was lifted closer to his, opening the folds of her woman-hood as he took them deeper. A broken gasp came from Teyla's throat as her body gave wave to the unforgettable invasion. She felt John stand still as the signs of her pain registered in his lust-filled brain. He let out an astonished breath, "Teyla, did I hurt you?"

It was her first time making love to a man and it was magical! Making love to him was a magical experience. He had taken every possible care not to hurt her in any way and to meet her every need. She could feel this was all about her and him and their love for one another as their bodies soared as one, in delight, in bone-melting pleasure. Finally making them one.

"No, do not stop," she gasped, "It is all right. I am fine."

His rising flesh continued to stroke ever so warmly her skin until they continued their on-going rhythm.

"Teyla, don't ever… you are all I ever want, ever need." He groaned harshly as the headlong rush of release took him. "Tell me that you know that Teyla," he said raggedly.

She held him steady with arms and legs as he stiffened and shuddered lost in his own pleasure.

"I do," Teyla whispered as the ultimate pleasure pulsated through her core, silencing with its gift and acuity, causing her flesh to burn with each stroking heat.

As her ecstasy clouded mind cleared, and her senses returned to some normalcy, she felt him holding her tightly to him. Glorifying in pleasure and contentment, in spirit, mind, body and soul, they had finally consummated their love.

Depleted, they dozed with their legs tangled together intimately as if they'd slept like this for years making it hard to tell where one started and the other ended. She turned to face him and caught him looking down at her. He seemed to have awakened before her. A small smile in his eyes made her trembled beneath his embrace.

" Hey," he whispered as he leaned over her naked body.

"How long ago did you wake?" She wanted to feel his mouth, feel his touch once again.

"Awhile ago," he smiled.

"You should have awakened me." She spoke in between smiles as his hands caressed her overly sensitized skin.

His face contorted suddenly. "I'm sorry," he said gruffly, "This isn't what I wanted."

She tensed at his words. Was he regretting his decision?

"No, " he blurted out almost instantly, holding her tighter, gazing openly into her eyes. "Not at this, I didn't mean us," he whispered, "Never at this."

He smiled and pressed a soft kiss against her temple. And she smiled knowingly at his lack for choice of words.

And then ever so reverently, he confessed, "I've cursed every man that has ever touched you, every night I've spent with another woman because….." he hesitated, "Because it has always been you. You Teyla, the only woman that I've ever wanted." His voice was husky with wonder.

Her forehead pressed against his, "I have only ever wanted you too, John Sheppard."

He bent to kiss her lips, her throat, pulling her neatly into his embrace. "Don't ever doubt my love for you," he said, barely able to speak.

"Never, as you shall never question my decision to leave with you."

She could see his face gleaming, full of emotion and exhaustion.

"I don't deserve you, Teyla."

Teasingly, she smiled, moving closer to his embrace. "I know."

She felt his face in the shining midnight veil of her hair, whispering close to her ear, "Besides, Ronon and Rodney will not be too far behind should you ever change your mind."

She gave him a wry crooked smile.

Pulling back from her he added, "Don't look at me like that, Teyla. I know a thing or two about you Athosian women," he explained with a muffled laughed. "I'm also taking my radio just in case you decide to bolt on me."

Teyla's brief laugh was an audible ache. He was still troubled. She lay down beside him again laying a hand on his chest cradling her head. Feeling the strong beat of his heart made her feel powerful, invincible, and secure. She prayed to the Ancestors that she had half the same effect on him.

"John Sheppard, I intend on staying with you for a very long time. Besides, I have already selected several highly probable methods of escape should I feel the desire to do so at my own convenience."

She could sense his eyes scrutinizing her. "You've been hanging around McKay too long, Teyla." She could feel and hear him chuckle as his chest rose up and down in amusement.

She managed to smile at his evasiveness. "As of lately, in your absence, it is with Zelenka and Katie whom I am engaging most of my time in Athos. Katie enjoys scrutinizing our vegetation while Zelenka toys with our scarce use of technology. "

"Teyla. I'd much rather my future wife not hang out with the geeks in the Pegasus."

Turning cold, Teyla tensed at the reality of his words. It made her slightly breathless, as if something had caught her throat. Everything was happening too fast, too soon, and too recklessly. After years of longing, and as her heart violently thumped in her chest, she could see the same realization in him as her eyes met his unguarded gaze. Yet she had to make him understand that there was no reason for her return.

"Our _convergence_ is of no coincidence, John Sheppard. The Ancients weaved our paths, I am certain. If Athena had anything to do with our meeting, the effects are permanent and for life." Teyla finished triumphantly.

"Teyla, " his voice sounded scratchy before he covered her mouth with his.

When their lips parted, she felt him breathed out deeply. "I don't expect much, Teyla," he murmured. She turned her head to look at him then.

Stroking her hair, she watched him closely as he stared at the ceiling. "In the end, it's not regret nor remorse that I'm feeling. If that's what is expected of me to come back, then that's never going to happen. All I can offer is," he paused, "Compromise, maybe, but not for what's been done to you and to your people. And if you're threatened, then all bets are off." He stared out towards the balcony hearing the roar of the Atlantian seas. "I won't ask for forgiveness. Not for loving you, not for wanting to be with you. I did my job and I did it well, if they can't accept us, then they won't have either of us." Then he held her chin and gazed into her eyes, "I won't let them take you from me, and I won't apologize for taking you from them either. If this life with you is all I'll have, then that's enough." Gently, he leaned and brushed her lips with his, "You are more than enough."

She smiled at him through her tear-filled-blurry vision. Leaning forward, she kissed him, his heartbeat strong beneath her fingers as she flattened her palm, feeling the rhythm of his heartbeat.

This is what troubled him. This is wherein lies his fear. _Not of regret, not of remorse, _but in conviction, redemption and peace.

"Do not think yourself free of this life, John Sheppard. You will never adapt to the daily ordinary life of a common man. And I would have you no other way. Our pilgrimage will lead us to reside here, again. We have not seen the last of Atlantis, of our families and friends. Of this I am most certain. We shall return."

She closed her eyes and breathed in his scent warming to his embrace.

"With you by my side Teyla, nothing is impossible." His voice was husky with wonder as he smoothed her long hair.

Sliding his hand beneath her jaw, his lips brushed her mouth with his and Teyla melted against him with a shaken moan, her lips feverishly answering to his.

~0~

And while their bodies joined in a heated, passionate dance of love-making once again, the halls of Atlantis drummed to the sounds of the Athosian elder, leader of the Athosian people, whose anger and might thirst the blood of the one Atlantian responsible for the sudden disappearance of his one and only heir, his daughter Teyla.

~Fin~

Not sure if I want to continue this. Let me know what you think.


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